Fangs for Everything Read online

  The cheerleaders went nuts, including Daisy.

  “Yay, Chad!!!” she hollered. “That was amazing!”

  Then they all went into a cheer:

  “Chad Knight, he’s our man! If he can’t do it, no one can!”

  Chad ran back down the court, and he looked right at Daisy. She smiled and gave him a little wave. “Great play!” she chirped.

  Irwin and I shot each other a look.

  FACT: Irwin didn’t like it when Daisy paid attention to me. I didn’t like it when Daisy paid attention to Irwin. But NEITHER of us liked it when Daisy paid attention to some other boy.

  I suddenly understood my negative feelings a whole lot better. In Daisy’s eyes, Chad was the hunky basketball star, and I was the little boy who still believed in vampire dogs.

  “Uh, you know what, you guys?” I said. “I just remembered, Irwin and I need to go pick up Baxter and head down to Isaac’s bakery, you know, to choose a birthday cake for Irwin’s party. So, uh, we have to go.”

  “We do?” Irwin said.

  I gave him a look.

  “Oh, right,” he added. “We absolutely do.”

  Daisy moaned. “Darn, really? That stinks. We have some pretty cool cheers coming up at halftime that I wanted you guys to see.”

  “Daisy can do a backflip!” Mara added. “She’s really athletic!”

  I tried to look disappointed. “Hate to miss it. See you guys later.”

  “Great job cheering,” Irwin said. “Keep up the good work.”

  “Oh yeah, right,” I added quickly. “Really good job.”

  Daisy looked skeptical. “Thanks,” she said. “I think.”

  As we headed out, I glanced over at Chad, who was drinking water on the sideline. He saw me, waved, and grinned.

  I managed to wave back, but I wasn’t quite able to pull off the grin.

  HALF AN HOUR later, my dad drove Irwin and me over to Baxter’s house to pick him up. Abby was hanging out the back window as usual, her bottom lip flapping in the wind. When that happens, I can see her fangs, which are still an awesome sight.

  These days though, it was pretty much the only time I got to see them. Unfortunately she hadn’t been in a very fang-y mood lately.

  But she was still the most awesome dog ever, obviously, and I took her everywhere she was allowed. Since Isaac has a very dog-friendly policy, his bakery had already become one of Abby’s favorite places to go.

  Baxter came trotting out to the car. “Hey, you guys,” he said. He leaned into the back window and scratched Abby’s ear. She licked Baxter’s hand in appreciation. It was very sweet and adorable, if all you wanted was a dog who licked people’s hands. I wanted more than that though. I wanted the dog who made me feel cool, and brave enough to start the CrimeBiters and talk to Daisy in the first place, and not the dog who made me feel silly for thinking she had superpowers.

  That’s a lot to ask, I know.

  Baxter hopped in the backseat. “Hey, Mr. Bishop.”

  My dad waved into the rearview mirror. “Nice to see you, Baxter.” Baxter leaned over the front seat and fist-bumped my dad. The two of them were pretty good buddies, which was pretty impressive when you consider that Baxter’s dad once stole my mom’s diamond necklace.

  “So how was the basketball game?” Baxter asked.

  “It was, uh, interesting,” Irwin said. “Daisy’s a cheerleader now.”

  “Huh,” said Baxter, who didn’t seem to care all that much. His attitude toward Daisy—meaning he treated her like she was just another person—made absolutely no sense to me.

  I nodded. “Yup. She’s gone over to the dark side.”

  Irwin chuckled. “Chad Knight didn’t seem to think it was so bad,” he said, just because he knew it would irritate me.

  “Well, I think it’s great,” my dad chimed in. “Cheerleading is a time-honored tradition, and a fine one at that.”

  PROFILE

  Name: Baxter Bratford

  Age: 13, but don’t tell anyone, he gets embarrassed

  Occupation: Former bully and the only bald member of the CrimeBiters

  Interests: Lacrosse, passing math

  “Mom says that cheerleading is ridiculous and sexist and should be banned,” I reminded him.

  “Banned seems a bit extreme,” said my dad, but he didn’t argue the basic point.

  “I don’t get why boys don’t cheerlead,” Irwin said. “It does seem weird that it’s only for girls. I mean, girls and boys play a lot of the same sports, right? So what’s the difference?”

  “Any boy who joined cheerleading would be laughed out of school, obviously,” Baxter said. He seemed a little glum, maybe because Irwin and I hadn’t asked him to come to the game. We probably should have, but we were too distracted by Daisy’s invitation to remember.

  FACT: When you’re thinking about the girl you like, sometimes you forget about other things. Like your friends.

  “You’re probably right about that, Baxter,” my dad agreed. “Which is too bad.”

  “Can we change the subject?” I said. All this cheerleading talk made me think about Chad and Daisy smiling at each other, which was a lot less fun to think about than Isaac’s chocolate chip cookies.

  “You brought it up,” muttered Irwin.

  “Yeah, well, now I’m bringing it down.”

  “I know what we can talk about,” said my dad, with a little extra pep in his voice. “You guys getting out of the car, because we’re here. Pick you up in an hour.”

  As I opened the car door, my dad grabbed my arm. “You know, Jimmy, just because Daisy cheered for Chad doesn’t mean that she actually likes him.”

  I stared at my dad. How the heck did he know exactly what was going on in my head?

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I told him, and I hopped out of the car so fast I could barely hear him giggle and say, “Of course you don’t.”

  FACT: When I grow up, I want to live in a bakery.

  BAKE NEWS!—WHICH was the name of Isaac’s bakery—had only been open for about two months, but it was already the most popular place in town. The guy was a magician with an oven mitt, and everybody knew it. Plus, like I said, you could bring your dog inside if you wanted to. I don’t understand why all stores and restaurants don’t have that policy.

  FACT: Dogs make people happy. And happy people buy stuff.

  “What’s up, my good friends?” bellowed Isaac as we walked into his store. Isaac was a pretty enormous guy, so when he bellowed, it was the real deal.

  “Cookies all around,” I told him, “with a side of milk.”

  Isaac reached to a tray behind him and plucked out three of the chocolatiest, chippiest cookies I ever saw. Then he poured three glasses of ice-cold milk. My lips started twitching.

  “After we finish our cookies, I’d like to discuss options for my birthday cake,” Irwin told him. “It’s going to be the most amazing party ever, so I’m going to need some of your finest work.”

  Isaac winked. “You got it, brother.” Then he bent down to say hi to Abby. “Hey there, girl.” He gave her some kind of biscuit, which she snapped up. I bet it was delicious.

  The four of us went outside and grabbed a table on the sidewalk. Abby nestled underneath my legs, keeping an eye on things in case a stray piece of cookie happened to get loose (like that was ever going to happen).

  Irwin and I ate about half our cookies in one bite, but Baxter just sat there, staring at his.

  “Are you sick?” I asked him. It was the only reasonable explanation.

  “Nope,” he said.

  Irwin and I looked at each other, then back at Baxter. The glum expression still hadn’t left his face. Plus, he’d been kind of weird ever since he got in the car—quiet and moody. It occurred to me that something more serious might be upsetting him.

  “Is something bothering you?” Irwin asked him.

  Baxter nodded. “Thanks for asking, Irwin,” he said, which felt like a punch in the gut. I’d thou
ght of it first! Well, I’d thought of it at the same time anyway, and now Irwin got the credit for being the caring one.

  QUESTION: Why is it that everything between best friends becomes a competition?

  I quickly remembered this was about Baxter. Time to forget about me, for once.

  “What is it?” I asked. “This isn’t about the basketball game, is it?”

  “No, of course not. I don’t even like basketball.” Baxter let out a heavy sigh. “You guys know I have an older brother named Bennett, right?”

  Irwin and I looked at each other again.

  “Uh, actually I didn’t,” I admitted.

  “Me neither,” Irwin added.

  “Oh,” Baxter said. He took a tiny nibble out of his cookie. I saw Abby looking up at him as if to say What is wrong with you? If you don’t want it, I’ll have it! I knew exactly how she felt. “Well, that’s because he’s older than me. A lot older.”

  “Uh, how old?” Irwin asked, which was the next logical question.

  “Twenty-two.”

  I whistled. Twenty-two was old. Like, an actual grown-up. “Jeez. Where does he live?”

  “Well, that’s the thing,” Baxter said. “Bennett hasn’t lived at home for a long time. He went to college for a while, and then he dropped out, and then he moved to California for a few years, where I think he lived on a beach or something, and we kind of lost track of him for a while, then a few months ago he told us he joined the army.”

  “The army?” I said. “Wow. That’s amazing.”

  “So, so cool,” Irwin said. “He must be, like, such an awesome guy.”

  “I guess so. I never got to know him all that well, to be honest. But I miss him a lot.” Baxter looked off into space for a second, as if he might find what he wanted to say next somewhere out there. “Anyway, I just found out today that he’s going overseas.”

  “Overseas?” I asked. “What does that mean?”

  “It means he’s going to fight in a war, dummy,” Irwin said.

  I immediately felt stupid. “Really?”

  “I don’t know,” Baxter said. “Like, not a war, exactly. But I think maybe to search for bad guys or fight terrorism or something like that.”

  The three of us sat there silently for a few seconds.

  “Your brother sounds like a hero,” Irwin finally said, very quietly.

  “A total hero,” I added, just because.

  “Thanks,” Baxter said. “I think so too. I just hope he stays safe. My mom’s really worried. I guess I am too.”

  Irwin and I didn’t have anything to say to that.

  I wasn’t sure which way to take the conversation from there, but luckily I didn’t have to worry about it for too long, because about five seconds later Baxter pointed and said, “Is that guy actually leaving his car there?”

  I looked over and saw a guy parking some kind of fancy sports car in a completely illegal space, blocking a bunch of other cars. It wasn’t unusual to see terrible parking jobs in our town, because people were always in such a rush that they didn’t care if they were actually following the law or anything, but this was especially ridiculous.

  “Holy smokes,” Irwin said. “That is so obnoxious.”

  “Maybe we should say something,” I said. It was the kind of thing we would report at our weekly CrimeBiters meetings, but I didn’t think any of us had actually ever done anything about it before.

  Baxter shook his head. “I don’t think so. Let’s just eat our cookies and mind our own business this time.”

  I looked down at Abby, who was snoozing peacefully under the table. I thought about how everyone thought it was silly and immature that I still thought she was a crime-fighting vampire dog. This wasn’t exactly the ultimate test, but maybe it would offer some kind of proof to everyone that I was right.

  “Hey, Ab, wake up,” I whispered to her. She raised her head lazily, wondering what could possibly have been so important that it meant interrupting her nap.

  After we all watched the man go into a bank, I said, “When he comes out, I’ll just ask why he parked illegally and see what he says.”

  “Well, hold on a minute. I agree with Baxter,” Irwin said. “It’s possible the guy doesn’t realize what he was doing, and it was just an honest mistake.” Irwin was always the last one to confront anyone about anything. Except for me, whom he would confront about everything.

  “Whatever, you guys decide,” said Baxter, who was clearly still preoccupied by his brother’s news.

  About five minutes later, the sports car guy came out of the bank. He was wearing a dark suit, a pink tie, and sunglasses that wrapped all the way around his head. He was talking on his phone, loudly. And he obviously thought he was just the most awesome person ever.

  I grabbed Abby’s leash and got up.

  “You’re really going to say something?” Irwin asked.

  “Yup.”

  Abby and I walked over as the guy finished his call. “I need you to put the kibosh on that whole deal,” he was saying into the phone. “That’s all there is to it. Today. No excuses.” He hung up and noticed me standing there. “What’s up, guy?” Then he noticed Abby. “Make sure that dog doesn’t do any funny business on my shoes, capiche?”

  I shuffled my feet for a second, then plunged in. “Uh, yeah, hey. I was just wondering if you realized that you were parked illegally. And also, that you were blocking cars from getting out.”

  The guy glanced around, as if trying to figure out whether this was some sort of joke. “You’re kidding, right? I was in there for five minutes.”

  “Yeah, but still. People do that a lot around here, and it’s not considerate to other drivers.”

  “What are you, like, a junior Boy Scout on patrol?” He took his sunglasses off and cleaned them with his tie, then put them back on. “So did someone try to leave while I was parked there? Is that what you’re telling me? If so, where are they? I’ll beg their forgiveness.”

  That was a question I hadn’t quite anticipated. “Uh, well, actually no, no one tried to get out or anything. But, uh, if they had wanted to, they couldn’t have.” I glanced over at Irwin and Baxter, but they were both staring at their milk glasses. Some big help they were.

  Sunglasses Guy snickered. “Listen, kid, I don’t know who or where your parents are, but if they were here, I’d tell them to make sure their son doesn’t turn into one of those annoying types who’s always getting in other people’s business. Now run along.”

  I didn’t move.

  “I said, BEAT IT,” the guy hissed, leaning in closer. Then he decided not to wait for me to move, and he brushed past me, lightly knocking into my shoulder. As I fell a few steps backward, I heard Irwin gasp.

  I looked down at Abby again, hoping to see some sort of sign that she was going to defend me. A fang, a protective growl, anything! But all she did was look up at me like, Why are we standing here? I was enjoying my snooze under the table.

  “Please be more careful parking next time!” I yelled, just to get the last word. The guy glanced back, gave me a look of disgust, and jumped in his car. The tires squealed as he drove away.

  I walked slowly back to the table, where Irwin and Baxter were staring up at me like they’d seen a ghost.

  “Are you okay?” Irwin asked.

  “What a total jerk that guy was,” Baxter said.

  I sat down like everything was hunky-dory. “Oh yeah, totally fine, he barely even touched me.” But the truth was, I wasn’t totally fine. I was a little shaken up. The guy had actually scared me a little bit. And my dog didn’t seem to care at all.

  “I need you guys to tell me something,” I said. “And please don’t laugh.”

  They both stared at me, waiting.

  I took a deep breath. “When I got Abby, I realized pretty soon after that she was different from other dogs.”

  “Uh, yeah, okay,” Irwin said warily.

  “And then all this crazy stuff happened, which confirmed it,” I went on. �
��I knew that she was special. That she had unique abilities.” I paused. “Like special powers.” I paused again. “And one of those powers was that she was a vampire.”

  I stopped. It sounded so stupid when I said it out loud, even though I believed it with all my heart. Or at least, I had believed it with all my heart.

  “Right,” Irwin said impatiently. “So get to the part where you want us to tell you something.”

  “Oh yeah.” I took another deep breath. “I guess my question is … I mean, I know you guys think the Abby thing is crazy and everything, but … do you think it makes me seem like, you know, a little kid? Like, really immature and stuff?”

  Baxter shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about it,” he said. “Not really though.”

  I could have hugged Baxter right then. But before I could feel all relieved, Irwin chimed in.

  “Well, if you want the truth,” Irwin said, “it does make you seem kind of, like, you know … younger, I guess. Especially when compared to … oh, I don’t know … someone like Chad, who’s, like, this big super athlete, running up and down the basketball court.”

  UGH.

  He paused, waiting to see how I’d react. “Does that answer your question?”

  “Absolutely,” I said, keeping my voice as steady as I could. “Thanks for being honest.”

  “Sure thing.”

  I was about to walk into the store and drown my sorrows with more cookies and milk, when I stopped short.

  FACT: Just when you think things can’t get any more stressful, they always do.

  Daisy and her mom were heading straight toward us.

  “HEY, LOOK, IT’S Daisy,” said Irwin, stating the obvious.

  She was still in her cheerleading uniform, of course. The game must have just ended, and here she was, smiling and waving.

  “I was wondering if you guys would still be here!” she exclaimed, running up to our table.